Just finished watching Carnal Crimes (1991) and In Praise Of Older Women (1978)...

Just finished watching Five Nights At Freddy's 2 (2025) and The Sisters Brothers (2018)...

Finding Your “Permission to Rest”: Challenging Productivity Guilt | NeurodiverseNights Blog

https://www.neurodiversenights.com/blog/finding-permission-to-rest/

Do you ever feel guilty for resting? Do you feel like you need to "earn" downtime by being sufficiently productive first? In a society that often glorifies busyness and constant achievement, taking time for genuine rest – especially when your energy levels or processing style differ from the norm – can feel like an act of rebellion, often accompanied by a nagging sense of guilt.

This pressure can be particularly intense for neurodivergent individuals who may already be navigating different energy capacities, sensory needs, or the exhaustion from masking (The Weight of a Day). It can lead to pushing past limits, contributing to burnout and making true relaxation feel impossible (When "Just Relax" Doesn't Work).

The guilt around resting often stems from:

- Societal Productivity Standards: An ingrained cultural belief that our worth is tied to our output and achievements.
- Internalized Ableism: Unconsciously absorbing negative societal messages about disability or difference, leading to beliefs that needing more rest or different kinds of rest is a sign of weakness or laziness.
- Comparisons: Measuring our capacity or need for rest against neurotypical standards or seemingly high-achieving peers.
- Fear of Judgment: Worrying that others will perceive us as unproductive or unmotivated if we prioritize rest.

Challenging these pressures requires a conscious shift towards self-compassion and affirmation. NeurodiverseNights exists, in part, to offer a space that embodies this permission:

- Rest is a Right, Not a Reward: Your need for rest is valid, regardless of how much you accomplished today. Rest is essential for physical, mental, and emotional health, just like food or water.
- Honour Your Unique Needs: Embracing neurodiversity means accepting that your energy patterns, sensory requirements, and processing speeds might differ. Your need for rest is tailored to *your* system.
- Redefine Productivity: Recognize that "productive" activity includes acts of self-care, regulation, and restoration. Resting *is* productive for maintaining long-term well-being.
- Listen to Your Body (Gently): Practice noticing your body's signals (Listening to Your Body's Signals) for fatigue or overwhelm, and try to respond with kindness rather than pushing through unnecessarily.
- Find Affirming Resources: Surround yourself with messages and communities (like this one, we hope!) that validate the importance of rest and honour diverse needs.

Finding your "permission to rest" is an ongoing practice. It involves gently challenging ingrained beliefs and actively choosing self-compassion over guilt. Every time you allow yourself genuine, unapologetic rest – whether it's listening to a calming story, engaging in a quiet hobby, or simply doing nothing – you reinforce the vital message that your well-being matters, exactly as you are.

Now reading The Mind Of The Mathematician by Michael Fitzgerald & Ioan James…

Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit by various artists and Toys In The Attic by Aerosmith...

On Pacific Street in Downtown Vancouver. Summer of 2018.

Pacific Street is a vibrant east-west thoroughfare in the heart of downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, running parallel to the waterfront and serving as a key connector between the West End, Yaletown, and False Creek. It’s part of the city’s iconic seawall network, blending residential luxury, commercial energy, and recreational access. It’s a sought-after address for high-end condos and urban living, with a walk score often exceeding 90 due to its proximity to beaches, transit, and amenities.

Pacific Street stretches approximately 2 km through downtown, from the edge of Stanley Park in the west (near English Bay) eastward to Main Street, skirting the southern boundary of the West End and transitioning into Yaletown. It runs parallel to Beach Avenue and Davie Street, offering easy access to the Vancouver Seawall—a 28 km pedestrian and cycling path. It borders the upscale West End (residential and beachfront) to the north and the bustling downtown core/Yaletown to the south. Key intersections include Pacific & Hornby (luxury towers) and Pacific & Burrard (near Sunset Beach). Served by multiple transit options, including the SkyTrain’s Canada Line (Vancouver City Centre station nearby) and bus routes along Davie and Beach. It’s a short walk to the Vancouver Convention Centre and ferry terminals.

Named in the late 19th century during Vancouver’s early urban planning, Pacific Street emerged as a residential and commercial corridor amid the city’s post-1886 Great Fire rebuild. In the 1960s–1970s, it became part of broader downtown revitalization efforts, influenced by the development of Pacific Centre mall (opened 1974), which reshaped nearby Granville and Georgia Streets but indirectly boosted Pacific’s accessibility. Just north at Granville & Georgia, Pacific Centre Mall, a 578,000 sq ft shopping hub (built 1971–1973), was Vancouver’s largest indoor mall upon opening. It displaced heritage buildings but integrated with SkyTrain via skybridges to Hudson’s Bay and Vancouver Centre Mall. Today, it’s anchored by Holt Renfrew and features over 100 stores (e.g., Apple, Sephora, Tiffany & Co.), drawing 22 million visitors annually. A 2020s redevelopment added a glass-domed Apple Store at Howe & Georgia. Pacific Central Station (1150 Station St, near Main & Terminal Ave) is a short walk east. This 1919 Beaux-Arts railway terminus (built for $1 million) features granite, brick, and andesite facades with Doric columns and ornate interiors (skylights, mouldings). Originally for Canadian Northern Pacific Railway, it’s now VIA Rail/Amtrak’s western hub, with bus services added in 1993. It holds historical ties to Black Strathcona porters. The street reflects Vancouver’s shift from industrial port to modern condo haven, with 1970s towers giving way to 2020s luxury builds emphasizing seawall views.

The 501 (501 Pacific St) is a 33-story tower with 295 units, completed recently. It steps from False Creek and Sunset Beach. Amenities include gyms and rooftop decks; recent sales show competitive pricing (e.g., units sold $30K–$75K under asking in 2025). The Pacific by Grosvenor (889 Pacific St) is a 39-story, 221-unit development (2021), featuring Italian Snaidero cabinetry, Dornbracht fixtures, and deep balconies mimicking cloud textures. Units range from 1–4 bedrooms; a recent penthouse sold $75K under asking in October 2025. The Californian (1080 Pacific St) is a 7-story, 84-unit concrete building (1982) with rooftop decks, saunas, hot tubs, and recent upgrades (new plumbing, elevators). Walk score: 92; near Sunset Beach. 1215 Pacific St is a 5-story, 50-unit mid-rise (1977) with underground parking and storage, in the West End near Bute St. Lined with cafes, boutiques, and seawall access points, Pacific Street is a hub for cycling/jogging, with proximity to English Bay, Stanley Park, and Granville Island via bridges. The area supports an active lifestyle, with gyms, spas, and markets within blocks. Upscale yet accessible—think sunset strolls, yacht views, and quick hops to downtown shops. Real estate is hot, with 2025 sales reflecting Vancouver’s densification trend.

High walkability (92+ score); bike lanes and seawall paths abound. Parking is limited—use underground spots in condos or nearby lots. Buses run frequently; SeaBus is a 10-minute walk. Pacific Street embodies Vancouver’s “live-work-play” ethos, evolving from 1970s mall-driven commerce to 2020s luxury residential.

 

The Unique Weight of AuDHD Masking: Compounded Energy Cost | NeurodiverseNights Blog

https://www.neurodiversenights.com/blog/audhd-masking-energy-cost/

Masking, or camouflaging neurodivergent traits, is an exhausting endeavour for anyone who does it. As we discussed in The Weight of a Day, it involves constant self-monitoring and suppression. For individuals with AuDHD, this effort is often compounded, requiring the navigation and concealment of traits associated with *both* Autism and ADHD, which can sometimes feel contradictory.

Understanding this unique and intensified energy drain is crucial for recognizing the profound need for genuine rest, recovery, and spaces where unmasking feels not just possible, but safe and welcomed.

Masking AuDHD might involve simultaneously trying to:

- Suppress Autistic traits like stimming, avoiding eye contact, literal interpretation, or intense focus on specific details.
- Suppress ADHD traits like fidgeting/hyperactivity, interrupting, impulsive speech, visible distractibility, or outward signs of executive dysfunction.
- Perform neurotypical social norms regarding conversation flow, appropriate emotional expression, and small talk.
- Manage sensory sensitivities (Autistic trait) while potentially also needing to suppress sensory seeking behaviours (ADHD trait) that might seem out of place.
- Appear organized and attentive despite internal challenges with focus, planning, and working memory from both neurotypes.

This constant internal calculation – "Should I suppress this stim? Should I force myself to seem more energetic? Am I making enough eye contact? Am I talking too much/too little?" – requires an immense amount of cognitive resource.

The compounded effort of AuDHD masking leads directly to:

- Intense Fatigue: Not just physical tiredness, but deep cognitive and emotional exhaustion.
- Increased Risk of Burnout: Sustained masking depletes resources faster, making Autistic or ADHD burnout more likely.
- Delayed Emotional Reactions: Emotions suppressed during masking may surface later with greater intensity (Intense Emotions).
- Difficulty Connecting Authentically: Masking hinders genuine connection and can lead to feelings of isolation.
- Reduced Capacity for Anything Else: When so much energy goes into masking, there's little left for hobbies, self-care, chores, or even basic functioning.

Recognizing the unique weight of AuDHD masking underscores the critical importance of:

- Creating Unmasking Sanctuaries: Establishing times and places (your calm space) where you can drop the mask entirely and just *be*. This might be alone time, or time with trusted, accepting individuals.
- Radical Self-Acceptance: Working towards embracing all parts of your neurotype, reducing the internalized pressure to conform.
- Energy Conservation: Learning to say no and set boundaries to protect your limited energy reserves.
- Deep Rest & Recovery: Understanding that recovery from AuDHD masking requires more than just sleep; it needs low-demand periods, sensory regulation, and potentially engaging gently with special interests.

The effort involved in AuDHD masking is real and significant. Acknowledging this burden is the first step towards prioritizing the authentic rest and self-acceptance needed to thrive.