Finding out that I'm autistic made me realize many things

A still from The Bad Seed (1985), directed by Paul Wendkos

At the end of 2022 and the beginning of 2023, I finally became sick because of COVID-19. I didn't want to catch the coronavirus, and I didn't catch it when the mandates and the restrictions were in effect during the so-called pandemic, but at least now I know what it feels like to have this disease. In my case, the first symptom that appeared was diarrhea. This happened during the night. Then other symptoms appeared. I had loss of smell and taste, headache, fatigue, coughing, muscle and joint pain, and fever. I would say that COVID-19 is a slightly more severe disease than the cold. If you catch it, you definitely have to stay at home for at least a week. While the virus isn't very deadly, it's still not a pleasant thing to be affected by it, and I guess that if an old person or a person with certain health problems continues to exert oneself while being sick with COVID-19, that person can die. In my case, COVID-19 didn't leave me with any long-term complications, but I did get an ear infection three weeks after the symptoms appeared. Because of this, one of my ears ached and couldn't hear. An ear infection has to be treated as soon as possible because if the infection spreads from the ear to the brain, a person can die. So, this is how the COVID-19 virus, which was probably created at one of the American biolaboratories in Ukraine, affected me. It took about a month for me to fully recover from the disease. In general, this year has been a very important one when it comes to my health. Not only did I get sick with COVID-19 for the first time, I also realized that I'm autistic. I found out that I'm a person with autism very recently. I've never been diagnosed with autism, but it's now obvious to me that autism has been an extremely important part of my life. I realized that I have autism when I was reading about it on Wikipedia. After doing this, I read some articles about how autistic people act and about their problems. When I did this, I became amazed that until now I didn't know that I have autism, which is a very big deal for any person that has it. Why didn't I know that I'm autistic before? Well, first of all, no one has ever told me that I have autism. My parents didn't know. My mother, who was definitely concerned about my health when I was little, didn't know. She took me to see doctors many times, but none of them diagnosed me with autism. Well, it's not like she took me to see top experts. Let's not forget that I grew up in a poor family, and few of the doctors that I got to meet were helpful. When it comes to my father, I don't even have to say anything. My so-called father is a typical Russian monster, and I'll leave it at that. So, although my mother wanted to improve my health when I was little, she didn't find out about the two most important health problems that I have. I had to find out about these two problems almost entirely on my own, after I became an adult. Second of all, I realized that I have been able to conceal some of my autistic traits in order to appear like a normal person. Since my intelligence is normal, maybe even above normal, I've learned and taught myself to behave like a normal person most of the time, although acting like a normal person isn't natural for me. Acting like a normal person is stressful and exhausting for an autistic person such as myself. Well, now I know why I prefer to sleep for at least 10 hours every day. Moreover, I don't just prefer to do this. I need to do this in order to have the energy to get through the day. When important changes to my lifestyle have to be made, or when I simply have to think about making changes to my lifestyle, I have to sleep even more. Going out of my routines is a difficult thing for me. Perhaps sleeping for at least 10 hours every day is also the reason why I look very young for my age. People sometimes tell me this. Nevertheless, after reading a lot about autism for the last week or so, I realized that I still often behave in an odd way and that I still sometimes can't control my outbursts, since I'm autistic. Before I found out that I'm autistic, I attributed my odd behavior and my inability to socialize well to my character. Most of the time, I ignored the fact that I'm not normal and simply plowed ahead through life. I guess that there's a reason why autism is called the invisible disability. Still, I don't like to think of myself as a disabled person or as a person that's not normal. It's not easy for me to accept that I'm autistic because I'd like my life to be normal, but it's clear to me now that I'll probably never be able to overcome some of my autistic traits. I have many autistic traits, but I'll mention only a few here. Like some other autistic people, I walk faster than normal people do. Even before I found out that I have autism, I tried to walk slower, but I don't always remember that I should do this. I also don't always move parts of my body, especially my hands, like normal people do. I can't speak very well, and it's difficult for me to express myself by speaking. Therefore, most of the time, I try not to speak. And, of course, it's difficult for me to maintain eye contact with people. I've read that most autistic people don't marry and don't keep friends. Will I be able to marry and perhaps to keep friends for a long time? This remains to be seen. I hope that I will, but, at this time, I'm not sure. The thing is that for the last several years I've been learning to deal with that other health problem of mine that I've had for my entire life. And now it turns out that I also have autism. That other health problem of mine can be overcome. Sure, it affects my health and my intelligence, but at least it can be avoided. Autism, however, can't be avoided. Autism doesn't affect my intelligence, but it does affect my behavior and my relationships with people. Anyway, this post isn't meant to be a sob story. What I did realize recently, after reading a lot about autistic people, is that autistic people need understanding and support because their lives are difficult and problematic. I can testify to this since I now know that I'm autistic. Autistic people make up only about 1% of the population, but they're still there.

Since some of my followers usually ask me to recommend films to see, this is what I'll do because I've seen a number of films in the last several months that are worth recommending. I've already made many videos with lists of films to see, but, for some people, this isn't enough, it seems. No problem. First of all, the teen film genre was in bloom in Hollywood in the 1980s, and this genre is one of my favorite genres because it produced many stylish films that I find appealing. There are dozens of teen movies from the 1980s that are worth seeing. I did make a video, which can be found on my blog, about the best teen movies, but I can recommend more. Additional teen movies that I've enjoyed seeing are Youngblood (1986), Footloose (1984), The Prince Of Pennsylvania (1988), Modern Girls (1986), My Science Project (1985), Class (1983), Vision Quest (1985), Heaven Help Us (1985), Fresh Horses (1988), Less Than Zero (1987), All The Right Moves (1983), and the sequels to The Karate Kid, particularly The Karate Kid Part III (1989). Some people praise The Last American Virgin (1982), but, after seeing it, I found it to be pretty dull, even by today's standards. The Last American Virgin was released by The Cannon Group, and perhaps this is the reason why some people like it. For some weird reason, many films by the The Cannon Group, which was a film machine notorious for pumping out unintentionally funny and enjoyable turds, have developed cult followings. Well, I'll admit that I enjoy watching the American Ninja films starring Michael Dudikoff. But this is the case only because I got to see the first three American Ninja films in a marathon on television when I was little. The marathon ran late in the morning and in the afternoon on one sunny day in the summer, and I got to see the first three films, which I found to be very enjoyable at that time, almost without getting up from the couch. Well, I think that I did get up a few times to make tea because the kitchen was right next to the living room, where the television set was located. Therefore, because of so-called nostalgia, I can watch the American Ninja films without cringing. As for the films that I got to see lately, I can recommend Betrayal (1983), Blue Tiger (1994), Electric Dreams (1984), Ghost (1990), Farewell My Lovely (1975), Micki & Maude (1984), Tron (1982), Half Moon Street (1986), Outland (1981), Chicago Deadline (1949), Code Of Silence (1985), Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams (1973), Lost In Space (1998), The Running Man (1987), Death On The Nile (1978), The Bad Seed (1956), A Stitch In Time (1963), The 3,000 Mile Chase (1977), The Bad Seed (1985), Psychic Wars (1991), A Flash Of Green (1984), Forced Vengeance (1982), Lionheart (1990), Predator 2 (1990), and Flatliners (1990). The films that I enjoyed seeing the most in the last several months are The Running Man and the two Bad Seed films. The one from 1956 is highly acclaimed and it was somewhat of a hit. But I enjoyed seeing the one from 1985 just as much, perhaps more. As for The Running Man, I can say that it's very entertaining and uplifting, though, obviously, this wasn't the first time that I got to see it. The other films in which I liked the performances of the cast are Betrayal, A Flash Of Green, Ghost, and Summer Wishes, Winter Dreams. Although I didn't see many new films in 2023, I can say that I've tried to see as many big budget movies during this summer movie season as I could. When it comes to entertainment, Hollywood usually delivers in the summer. What's kind of funny is that I pointed out in one of my posts that in the summer of 2022 Hollywood released few films that are worth seeing. Well, I can say that in the summer of this year Hollywood has so far released too many films that are worth seeing. Few of them have been excellent, but almost all of them are enjoyable to watch on the big screen. In fact, there have been so many big budget movie releases so far this summer that most of them haven't been able to make much of a profit. In May and in June, there were simply too many big budget movies to see. I've tried to go to theaters as many times as I could this summer, but even I haven't yet seen every new film that I'd like to see. This year has already been a very good one for superhero movies. Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse and Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3, which are terrific films, became hits in theaters. Fast X turned out to be one of the most enjoyable superhero movies of this summer for me. In this tenth main installment of the Fast & Furious superhero franchise, Dominic Toretto and his team of superheroes (called Family) face off against the latest supervillain that drives in and interrupts their lives, the villainous Dante Reyes, who cooks up a plan that's just as complicated as Lex Luthor's plan from Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice (2016). Sure, Fast X is ridiculous and bloated, but it delivers the laughs and the action. In fact, for about half of the film's run time, I couldn't stop laughing. It was that good. This year also saw the release of two enjoyable films by DC Studios - Shazam! Fury Of The Gods and The Flash. If Walter Hamada is the man that's responsible for the DC Studios films that got released in the last few years, he deserves praise, in my opinion, because I enjoyed seeing almost every DCEU film that got released from 2019 to 2023. The Flash, in particular, is my favorite film of this year so far. Sure, it's not as good as, let us say, Across The Spider-Verse, but it affected me the most. The Flash is admittedly silly at times, but almost everything else in this film works well. It's clear that plenty of effort and money went into making The Flash. After The Suicide Squad (2021), The Flash is my favorite film in the DCEU. First of all, the cast, especially Ezra Miller and Michael Keaton, delivered good performances. The Flash does seem like a star vehicle for Miller. There are a few scenes in the film that are actually moving. This is something that can be said about only several superhero movies that got made in the last decade because most of them attempted to deliver only laughs and entertainment. But The Flash still features some effective comedy. One of the reasons why The Flash is often effective is because it features a good music score by Benjamin Wallfisch. What's also worth mentioning is that The Flash is kind of like a comeback for the American flag. The American flag is in the film for a bit and it looks glorious when it appears. The American flag hasn't looked this good in a film for about a decade or more. Sure, the American flag isn't a very good actor. The performances of the American flag are mostly stiff and of one note. But the American flag doesn't get cast in films because of its acting chops. It gets cast because of its good looks. There were rumors that the American flag had turned to drugs, and perhaps this is the reason why it looked bad in the films in which it appeared in the last decade. But I'm here to tell everyone that the American flag is back! Not since the 1990s has the American flag looked this good on screen. Perhaps the American flag has been spending time at the gym and consuming dietary supplements. Anyway, I've got to say that before 2022 I was indifferent to the superhero film genre, but, in that year and for some reason, some of the films from Phase Four of the Marvel Cinematic Universe changed something in me. Since then, I've been looking forward to almost every new superhero movie release, and I realized that this film genre now has plenty to offer, mostly thanks to Marvel Studios, after about five decades of releases of varying quality.