Why Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD Students Are Stressed at School

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/positively-different/202507/why-autistic-adhd-and-audhd-students-are-stressed-at-school

- Neurodivergent adolescents experience twice the emotional burden at school of neurotypical peers.
- Students with ADHD are particularly upset by boredom, restrictions, and not being heard.
- Autistic students are particularly upset by social mistreatment, interruptions, and sensory overload.
- The problem is the environment, not the student.

Learning is an Autistic Joy of my life.

But school was painful. Painful. Painful.

This heartbreak is shared by so many neurodivergent people. Now, a groundbreaking study involving over 700 adolescents (11-16 years old) in the United Kingdom helps explain why—and points toward solutions that honor the joy of learning and the dignity of every student. More than that, the study authors suggest that reducing the emotional burdens students experience in school may potentially prevent decades of mental health struggles and save the lives of some neurodivergent adolescents and adults. 

Researchers developed a new tool called the "My Emotions in School Inventory" (MESI) by working directly with neurodivergent teenagers to understand what upsets them most at school. They discovered that emotional burden—how often upsetting events happen and how intensely they affect students of specific neurotypes—plays a major role in depression and anxiety, in ways that cannot be simply explained by emotion regulation difficulties.

Key Findings:

- All neurodivergent teens participating in the study—classified based on assessments into autistic, ADHD, or both (AuDHD) groups—experienced significantly more frequent and intense emotional reactions to school events than neurotypical peers
- Neurodivergent adolescents experience twice the emotional burden at school compared to neurotypical peers
- Different types of events were particularly upsetting for students in autistic vs ADHD groups, with a unique pattern emerging for the AuDHD group.

Students in ADHD Group Were Most Upset By:
- Teachers not listening to them
- Boring lessons or tasks
- Being stopped from doing enjoyable activities
- Being told to "try harder"
- Being accused of things they didn't do
- Losing or forgetting things

Students in the Autistic Group Were Most Upset By:
- Peers talking behind their back
- Unexpected waits or delays
- Sensory discomfort (noise, lighting, textures)
- Being rushed to complete work
- Not understanding social situations
- Being rushed to move between tasks

Students who met both ADHD and autism criteria experience the same overall level of emotional burden as the other two neurodivergent groups. However, AuDHD creates unique neurological patterns and combinations of traits—which means that simply combining autistic and ADHD predictions and strategies won't work. One size does not fit all.

Regardless of their specific neurotype, neurodivergent teens were more likely to be upset by:

- Last-minute changes to plans
- Teachers not understanding them
- Chaotic classroom environments
- Not being allowed to use their preferred coping strategies
- Not being able to complete tasks successfully
- Bullying and social exclusion
- Being treated unfairly by school staff

Like canaries in coal mines that warn of toxic gases, neurodivergent students, and neurodivergent people in general, respond appropriately to genuinely problematic environments. The issue isn't that these students are "too sensitive"; they are experiencing legitimate stressors that harm their well-being and may result in depression and anxiety well into adulthood.

The research validates what many neurodivergent self-advocates have long felt: Their distress isn't a character flaw or inability to cope. It's a natural response to environments that are not designed for their neurotype. This suggests several applications.

For Parents and Educators

- Honor each student's individuality rather than glorifying conformity to one-size-fits-all expectations
- Treat all students with dignity, or specifically NeuroDignity, recognizing that different brains have different needs
- Focus on changing harmful environments rather than expecting students to tolerate them
- Simply teaching emotion regulation skills may not be enough when the environment itself creates additional burdens
- Different accommodations or forms of support may be needed for specific neurotypes and for individual students
- Take bullying and unfair treatment seriously. These aren't "character building" experiences but represent genuine harm

For Support Strategies

- Students experiencing the predominantly ADHD pattern of stress may benefit from flexibility in how they demonstrate learning, respect for their interests and energy levels, and providing teacher support and resources to create more engaging learning experiences and enhance communication clarity
- Students experiencing the predominantly autistic pattern of stress may benefit from sensory accommodations, advance notice of changes, social navigation support, extra time for transitions, protection from social cruelty, or, better yet, preventing social cruelty rather than treating it as "rite of passage"

This study helps to further shift the conversation from "What's wrong with this student?" to "What's wrong with this environment?"

Key principles include:

- Respecting neurodiversity: Different brains process the world differently, and that's a feature of humanity.
- Creating inclusive environments: Schools should ensure flexibility for different learning and sensory needs as standard practice; this includes supporting teachers and ensuring that school environments also work for neurodivergent teachers.
- Addressing root causes: Bullying, sensory overload, inflexible curriculum, and social exclusion are environmental toxins, not student weaknesses.
- Honoring individual strengths: Each neurodivergent student brings unique perspectives and abilities that deserve recognition.

By understanding what specifically taxes the emotional well-being of different neurodivergent students, we can create environments where they have an opportunity to thrive. This requires treating every student with the dignity and emotional inclusion every human deserves, and recognizing that an emotional response to an unhealthy environment isn't misbehavior.

Forcing neurodivergent students into a standard box hurts these students and robs the world of the fullness of their talents. Let's create education that works for the full range of humanity, with flexibility and care. Neuroaffirming education can benefit everyone.